I am Scared of Heights But Not of Shadows.

Hiking Angel's Landing

I am scared of heights but I won't let that stop me. I won't let it control me. I won't let it consume me. I know that this sensation is one part emotional and one part rational. I have the ability to separate the two in order to achieve new heights. I am speaking here both in the elevation of the terrain and the elevation of my life. I remember from the earliest age having gross sensations regarding height. I would break down. I would become immobilized with fear. My mind would take over my heart.

I was hiking towards Angel's Landing in Zion National Park I had the most physical sensations as I clung to the chain and crawled on the cliffside. The same sensations that I did when I was younger except held in a vessel and not overflowing. It starts in my sacral zone and radiate up and out. A tingling, erotic, and exciting sensation. It is almost ecstasy but it stems from fear.

I know that I can only push myself slowly. I can carve away at this fear over time. The fear will never leave completely but the handling of it will. We didn't make it to Angel's landing but we made it halfway on the chains. That is further than I thought I could go. Since I did that I sensed my fear diminish a bit. I wasn't as scared to climb and to scale. It is growth. It is progression forward. There is no way to go back once you have started to evolve.

As I was doing this hike I came to the conclusion that God gifted me this fear but they also gifted me courage that is Equal to the fear in other areas of my life. I am capable of so much. As I unlock these fears I am more open to what flows into my life. As I invite in these limitations into my life for healing and releasing, I realize how capable I am.

At dusk as we drove home from Sedona great and massive shadows filled the horizon. The beasts were sleeping. Mountainous and Devastating Beasts had reached todays' slumber. These massive beasts dreamt softly in the distant. Black Canyon slowly filled with the lights and the hills faded a way into the gargantuan. The world became alive a new in my imagination. I am not usually in the back seat of the car being driving but to day I am. When you lean into the support and flow of where you are being taken or led you are able to release into the moment and become enraptured in the here and now. The beasts slumber till morning. Giants from a different age lying low to the ground. Soon the sky turns black and the glowing eyes of small rats dart back and forth on these self made tracks of stone.

The Hills At Night

I am scared of heights but not of shadows.

Gaining Strength. Gaining Courage. Gaining Joy.

Keep living { The Good Life }

Ian